A Doctor’s Office Script

12 | May 4th, 2010 | Posted in You're kidding

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I learned that some people know their job so well that they actually have it scripted. While this might work in some fields, I don’t think it works in a doctor’s office. How did I come to this conclusion? Well, let me tell you the story.

I had my eyes checked last week and this time by a regular eye doctor, not the guy at Costco or Wal-Mart as I’ve been apt to do in the past. I’d like to say that paying for a “real” eye doctor meant that said doctor and staff would have excellent “bedside manner.” This, however, was not to be the case.

I’d already had misgivings about the doctor, because he’s either hot (not as in hottie or anything) or cold. I mean, he’s either in a friendly mood, or he’s as cool as a cucumber. On the one hand, the day I had to get my tear duct drained – tears were forced from my eye and ran out my nose and streamed onto his nicely pressed dress shirt – he was quite pleasant. On the other hand, the day I had to wait over an hour to see him (for another tear duct draining) he barely said boo and never offered an apology for the wait.

So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised with the new assistant at my recent eye checkup. She matter-of-factly put drops in my eyes, which overflowed and messed up my mascara. Amidst the burning and the blurring, her monotone droning voice was equally numbing and impersonal.  You might even say it was hypnotic. I secretly suspected she had memorized the entire appointment, as if she was running on auto pilot.

“Now is it better on one… or two?”

“Two… or three?”

“Now stare at my right ear and tell me how many fingers I’m holding up.”

“Now stare at my left ear…”

I began to imagine ways that I might throw her off with some random comments, like ”How long have you been doing this?” Long enough to memorize your lines? “Are all of your appointments scripted like this?” I bet you would make a great actress.

Her last question sounded more like a statement: “Now, Jennifer, can I get you another Kleenex (for dabbing the yellow gunk leaking from my eyes)?” I suspect she didn’t think I would answer at all as she was already moving toward the door. “No, I’m okay with this one.”

She led me to a chair in the hallway to wait for the doctor and delivered her last lines perfectly:  “There’s one more thing I’d like you to do and that is, enjoy the rest of your day.”

I sat there for several minutes thumbing through the magazines and trying to read the print through my blurry, burning eyes. I wondered what kind of mood the doctor would be in today and whether or not I should let him do the surgery to create a new tear duct. Or maybe I should consider going to someone different, someone who wasn’t bipolar. As I sat there contemplating my options, the assistant finished up another exam and led the patient out to sit in the hallway.  Just then, the doctor motioned me into the next room. As I was walking away, I heard the assistant say, “There’s one more thing I’d like you to do and that is, enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Why, thank you,” said the patient, as if it was the nicest thing anyone had said to her all day.

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For more of What I Learned This Week, visit From Inmates to Playdates.

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If this is your first time visiting, stick around and read some of my earlier posts. You can find out about my joy stealers, catch the latest episode of As Our Stomachs Turn, enjoy a little winter cheer, or find out about the perfect gift.

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Thanking my Bloggy Friends

5 | April 17th, 2010 | Posted in Blogging, Contests

After the third box in a month arrived at the front doorstep addressed to me, my husband asked “What have you been buying?”  I cheerfully informed him that I had not bought anything, that I had won these items via my blog. You see, I’ve had a bit of a winning streak lately. Now, it’s about time I thanked my bloggy friends for their wonderful gifts.

First, I’d like to thank Mary over at Giving Up On Perfect for the book Hear No Evil by Matthew Turner.  Turner writes honestly about growing up in a ultra-conservative Baptist home and trying to come to terms with his love of music and his eventual career in the music industry. Turner’s accounts are often laugh-out-loud funny. And it’s hard to imagine that artists like Amy Grant and Sandi Patty were considered taboo at one time by fundamentalist Christians. I mean, as a new believer back in 1983, those were some of the Christian singers that I listened to, and often.

Next on the list is the book Achieve Anything in Just One Year: Be Inspired Daily to Live Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals, by Jason Harvey. This came to me from Shannon at Mom Improvement. I’ve just cracked it open this week, so I’ll have to give you an update as I get further into it. But so far, it reads kind of like a devotional. There’s a quote by a famous person, followed by  some inspirational thoughts and a small assignment - one per page for 365 days. It’s not dated, so you can start it at any time. The assignments are minor, not overwhelming; the first one suggests carrying around a small notebook for a week and writing down your dreams, without judging them. The second day asks you to look at the choices you make each day, and ask yourself if those choices are limiting you or nurturing you. Anyway, I think this will be a good book for me and I’m looking forward to delving into it more.

The third giveaway to bless me recently was from Lisa-Jo at Gypsy Mama. I won a Point of Grace CD, No Changin’ Us and a cookbook by the same group! What a kick. I haven’t listened to this group in years, and I almost never buy CDs (don’t own an Ipod); so I was very excited to have some new music to listen to. And I’m definately going to try out some of the recipes; there are a few appetizers that look especially good. I think my favorite song on the CD would have to be Love and Laundry, which describes a typical SAHM kind of day and trying to get it all done. This CD would make a great gift for young moms, as it is so encouraging; and most of the songs seem to be written with moms in mind.

Well, I’d like to say that my winning streak continued after that, but no such luck. Guess I need to start concentrating on writing some more posts, instead of just playing. But I have been enjoying these little gifts that have come my way. So, thank you again my bloggy friends.

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In other news…

So far, I have not quite mastered the illusive Rosemary and Olive Oil Artisan Bread that I wrote about earlier. I think I’m getting close though, and I’ll post the recipe as soon as I’ve perfected it. Stay tuned.  

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From Darkness to Light

1 | April 3rd, 2010 | Posted in Faith

At dawn on the first day, Mary Magdalene and another woman named Mary went to look at the tomb. At that time there was a strong earthquake. An angel of the Lord came dowm from heaven, went to the tomb, and rolled the stone away from the entrance.

The angel said to the women, “Don’t be afraid. I know that you are looking for Jesus, who has been crucified. He is not here. He has risen from the dead as he said he would.”  (Matthew 28: 1-2 & 5-6)

Our Savior lives! He has turned darkness into light, conquered death to give us life. Today, may you know the incredible love He has for you… and celebrate, because He’s not in the tomb. He has risen indeed!

Have a blessed Easter everyone!

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Much Ado About Hair Coloring and Artisan Bread

8 | March 5th, 2010 | Posted in Blogging

I’m joining in on The Other Mama’s blog carnival, Friday Favorites. And so I’m sharing a few of my favorite things.

#1) Clairol Perfect 10 Hair Color.  Because paying $80 for a hair color job (on long hair) and then having roots start to show within two weeks does not cut it, folks. I can get by on five weeks (six if I push it) between coloring, and it costs me $10 at my local Target. I’ve tried other brands, but this one seems to hold the best and looks the most natural. So if you’re bemoaning those pesky silver tyrants (as Mary over at Giving Up On Perfect was the other day), keep this product in mind. Oh, and it comes with this amazing conditioner that makes my hair feel like silk. You’ve got to try it. (Note: I’m not being paid for this, although Clairol is welcome to send me a freebie if they’re so inclined. I won’t turn them down.)

#2) Avon’s Advance Techniques Color Reviving Shampoo and Conditioner. Honestly, I’ve tried the pricier brands and I think this works much better, and it’s so inexpensive! Again, I’m all for saving money. If you haven’t tried it before, go ahead and give it a test run.

#3) Culinary Circle Rosemary and Olive Oil Artisan Bread from Albertsons. Okay, so there is no logical progression here . . . from hair care to bread. This just happens to be my latest obsession. I picked up a loaf for no apparent reason the other week (must have stopped in during the middle of a carb craving). And now, I am totally addicted. I’m going to go broke if I keep buying it (good thing I’m saving money in the hair care department). Fortunately, I discovered a recipe online and I’m hoping it will taste similar. I’ll have to try making it and get back to you with the results (though it could be another mishap, like my previous crumpet experiment).

Well, we’re having another gorgeous, sunny, 50-something degree day here in Idaho. Must get out and enjoy it now . . . and walk off that piece of bread I just ate. : )

Thanks for visiting. For more Friday Favorites, head on over to Hillary’s blog.

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Getting off the Couch

1 | February 23rd, 2010 | Posted in Staying Fit and Healthy

So the cold and dreary days have left me a bit stir crazy…and a few pounds heavier, sadly. I’ve decided it’s time to head back to the gym and start getting this body of mine in shape. After checking out the large and spacious YMCA, I realize it’s just too expensive; instead, I sample some classes at a small and affordable gym for ladies only.

Since I haven’t done a hard-core class in well over a year, I start out with a “Gentle Fitness” class. I’m forcing myself to go slow and not rush into the very-cool-but-probably-intense “Zumba” class. I had back surgery in November of 2008 (with good results), and I’ve been a bit timid to do certain things. Anyway, I walk into the class and I’m greeted by a dozen or so women, all of whom appear to be over 60. So this is what it’s come to, has it?

The moves are really basic, but as the teacher progresses through the class, she gives us tips on how to make it harder. And wow, suddenly I’m starting to feel the burn and I look around at these ladies imagining how much harder it must be on their bodies; and I think, Good for you! Way to take care of yourself. It’s sweet, actually, and makes me think of my Mom; I can imagine us taking a class like this together (if we lived close by, that is). I make a mental note to call and tell her about it.

This really is a good, gentle start. Now all I have to do is ignore the voice in my head, the one that thinks it’s 25 years old and wants to do cool stuff like this.

                              

Somehow I have to find a happy medium, between the above and this…

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How about you? How has your exercise regimen changed over the years? What’s working for you?

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The Latest Home Project

1 | February 4th, 2010 | Posted in At Home

Well, I’ve been waiting to show all my bloggy friends our latest house project. While we were gone for two weeks over Christmas, a little “elf” came and installed this built-in nook in our kitchen.

Here’s the area before…

And after…

Last weekend, we finished repainting the bench area to match the walls. That was a little tricky, as we couldn’t quite remember how we had done the faux effect the first time (over 10 years ago). It’s fairly close, though; and anyway, it will be covered by a seat cushion and throw pillows. That’s my next project: finding or making seat cushions to fit the area.

The project was done by our good friend, Todd at TM Hubbard Design/Build (tmhdesignbuild @ gmail.com). Some of the other house projects he’s done for us are featured in an earlier post. As you can see, the bench is similar to the bookshelves (see above link). We were able to use some extra corbels that were leftover from the building of our house to support the bench. And those tie in with the rest of the corbels throughout the house.

The table was also handcrafted by Todd. I could not get a picture that does it justice, so you’ll just have to believe me when I say, “It is so pretty!” It’s knotty pine, which matches our cabinets, and is slightly distressed. We added a glass top, which makes for easy cleaning. The table is attached via a rusty colored metal arm that’s extending from the wall. It gives the area a nice open feel and leaves plenty of room for legs; and there’s no place for crumbs to hide. Again, easy cleaning!

Next up on the home projects’ list: finishing off the basement, including a third bathroom (which will come in handy when both the girls (16 & 19) are trying to get ready at the same time…because you know how girls can be).

Up next…

If you happen to live in Idaho and have a unique home project you’d like tackled, feel free to contact Todd at the email listed above. His work includes everything from pergolas and decks to remodels, tile work (including mosiacs) and built-ins.

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If this is your first time visiting, welcome! Kick up your feet, grab some coffee and stay for a while. Get to know me a little better by reading some of my earlier posts. Find out about my joy stealers, a snow poem in the works, and how I accidentally seem to fall into these jobs.

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Moving Day

3 | January 15th, 2010 | Posted in Uncategorized

Well, we got back from our very long road trip to California, then Phoenix and back to Idaho. Four days later we packed up the car again with Mae’s things and moved her into the dorms. Yep, no more tears (well, for the moment anyway). She is one happy camper! Even had a friend sleep over already.

Before: How many family members does it take to assemble a dorm bed into a bunk bed? This was no easy task, and I’m still a little worried about that bed…very wobbly.

After: Voila! The finished product and most things in place. Home away from home.

Now, back to life as usual around here. Second semester and life goes on. Hope you all are off to a good start in 2010.

Blessings!

Unwrap the Perfect Gift

2 | December 24th, 2009 | Posted in Faith, Holidays

(Originally published on 12/24/08)

There’s a perfect gift that is not made by human hands. You won’t find it under your tree. In fact, the only way to find this gift is to search for it with all of your heart. You won’t find it at the mall. You won’t stand in long lines to get this gift; no fighting traffic or impatient crowds. You won’t be trampled trying to get it. There’s no price tag. You see, it’s free. And the best part is, it fits every heart perfectly: the perfect fit, the perfect size…every time. No returns needed. Your name is already written on the gift tag. All you have to do is receive it.

Shepherds found it. Wisemen found it. I hope you will find it, too…the perfect gift…JESUS. Go ahead. Make room in your heart and unwrap your gift.

Merry Christmas!

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The Birthday Note

2 | November 29th, 2009 | Posted in Family, Just for Fun, Living with teens

So, I’m back to finish the story from my last post. Like I said: We’re out at Chili’s celebrating Mae’s 19th birthday. The waiter brings her a huge lava cake topped with ice cream. Then he clears his throat and says, “And here…” and slides a piece of folded paper under her plate.

We start to giggle a little and wait for her to read it. We’re dying of curiosity. Then, she starts cracking up. She shows us the note. 

It looks like Matt had some help writing the note. Notice how the P.S. is in a different handwriting with a different pen?

Pretty soon we’re all giggling like a bunch of school kids. “Mae, write something back!” I say.

“What should I write?”

“Say, ‘Matt, I’ve been staring at your butt all night.’ ” says her dad.

“Daaaad! No way. I can’t say that!”

I give her another idea and then she jots down this at the top of the receipt:

Thanks Matt.  I’ve been watching you all night.  - Mae

Then for the final touch, she draws this.

We tuck the note in with the money and leave in a hurry, laughing the whole way out. There are windows all around the restaurant, and as we round the corner we look back and can see the waiter. He’s got a big smile on his face and he’s showing the note to the other servers. Of course, this sets off another round of laughs from us; and, it gives the girls something to talk and giggle about all the way home.

I’ve been laughing so much my stomach hurts. I think: what a perfect ending to Mae’s birthday. This was just too much fun; though, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to show our faces in there again. Well, Kiki’s birthday is in April. Maybe by then…

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Not My Typical Day

0 | November 25th, 2009 | Posted in Working Again?

It was not going to be a normal day by any means. I woke at 6:45 a.m. and made my way to the coffee machine. I had a slight sense of dread knowing what the next few hours would entail. I had agreed to take on a cleaning job by myself, something I occassionally do with my friend, Mattie, who does this for a business… quickly and meticulously.

I would be flying solo on this one. And I wondered: could I produce a top-quality end product. Would it be good enough? Would it be as good as when Mattie does it? Or would the lady realize I am a fraud? Prone to overnight dishes in the sink, clutter on counters and cobwebs in corners.

Four hours. That’s how long this little project would last. That’s four hours and four full bathrooms; no wiping down cabinets or drawers. At least, that’s what she told me when I called a few nights ago to ask about the project. Then, when I get there, she tells me that she would like me to do the drawers and cabinets, especially in the children’s bathrooms. She also tells me to hit the baseboard (in the master bath toilet room) and wants me to use this pumice stone thing on the toilets and porcelain sinks, as needed. Okay, I tell her and get to work. I think: I’ll check my time and if it looks like I won’t make it on schedule, something will have to give.

After an hour and 45 minutes I’m just finishing the master bath… a monster of a project. I calculate how much time I have left to split between three baths and decide I need to pick up the pace. I skip the master bath cabinets and move on. I crank out the next two baths, with cabinets, in about 45 to 50 minutes. By the fourth and last bath tub I can hardly lift my arms. They feel like jello and they’re shaking. Boy, I am a wimp.

I’m not quite done yet and my four hours is up, so I set a new deadline 20 minutes ahead. I figure I can give her 20 minutes more out of the goodness of my heart, since I took so long on the master. But, not one minute more. She’ll have to pay for it otherwise. I’m not doing this for free. I mean, who in their right mind would do this for free? Oh, wait… I do, all the time. But not all at once. Not four full bathrooms in a row, because that’s just crazy. And anyway, who has four bathrooms? Who would want four bathrooms… to clean? But, anyway… on with my story.

So now I have until 1:00. I’m working furiously to beat the clock. I’ve fallen into a weird zen-like bathroom-cleaning rhythm. It’s beautiful, really. I know Mattie would be proud. I feel strangely energized, but really, I’m pooped. My fingertips are throbbing and my arms are practically useless. And I feel like a drowned rat because of all the water I inadvertently splashed on myself in the process.

I finish and meet her in the kitchen to tell her I’m done. She says something about how she appreciates my help and that was a lot, with the cabinets and floors… Floors? Did she just say floors, ’cause there’s no way I could do the floors in that time frame, too. So just to be clear, I tell her what I didn’t do: the master bath cabinets/drawers, the baseboards in the smaller baths, and no floors. Oh, and “The goop that was in the drawer of one of the kid’s bathrooms, when I went to try and scrub it off, it took the paint right off with it. Sorry, I had no idea that the goop had actually caused the paint to bubble up and ruin the finish.” I want to be honest, you know. No surprises.

I say goodbye quickly and with relief, I slide into my car and try to lift my arms onto the steering wheel. It feels like they weigh about 30 pounds each. I feel muscles I had long forgotten about. I really just want to go home, but I’ve got deliveries to make, a bank stop and a few more items to get for Mae’s birthday (number 19), which is also today.

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Fast forward to the evening. We’re out to dinner at Chili’s. The young, not-so-bad looking waiter brings Mae a lava cake with ice cream. Does he sing for her? No. Instead, he sheepishly slides a note under her plate. To find out what it said and how she responded back, you’ll have to come back next time. I’m just too tired to tell you the story right now.

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