“You worry too much,” my husband tells me as I peer in the side view mirror and comment that our daughter — driving in a separate car with a friend — is not immediately behind us as we leave a particular parking lot, at night, in the rain. It’s not that I don’t have confidence enough in her abilities as a driver, but rather my brain is tuned into the Fear Channel; you know, the one where the boogie man is waiting just around the corner, along with the next catastrophe.
My husband does not seem to be tuned into the same channel. He doesn’t flinch when the phone rings in the evening and the kids are out. His brow doesn’t furrow when they pull out of the driveway, as I’m sure mine does. I wish my frequencies were more like his. And yes, I know that God loves my daughters way more than I do; and as believers, they are under his protection. So why is it I find myself constantly praying, “Please keep them safe. Keep them safe, Lord.” I’m sure in God’s mind it sounds more like a mantra than an I’m-trusting-you kind of prayer.
So, I think it’s time to pull an old favorite from the bookshelf, Loving God with All Your Mind, by Elizabeth George. This has got to be one of the most freeing books I have ever read. It’s one that I like to reread every year or so, just to get my head straight. Even now, just flipping through some of the chapters, I’m reminded that ”Whatever is true . . . think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). That means, don’t let the what ifs, and if onlys crowd my thoughts. I’m only to consider what is true in this moment, right now, and deal with the present.
That’s part of it, and the other part involves entrusting my family to God . . . completely. I think that’s my main issue lately, and I’m not sure why that is at the moment. So I’m going to do some more reading, some more soul searching, and get back to you on this. In the meantime, if anyone else has anything to share on the subject, please do. I’d love to hear your thoughts.